Take this quiz to find out how you’ll fail your next law exam
1. Pick a breakfast to have the day of your exam?
A. Porridge - nothing like a warm treat to melt your frozen heart
B. Coffee, nothing but coffee
C. Weetbix - breakfast of champions, ‘nough said
D. Egg and Bacon roll - on the go, you’re running late as always
2. Pick a meme that makes you smile
3. How do you procrastinate from study?
A. Hiking! Nothing better than exercise to run away from your problems.
B. Getting drunk - is there another way?
C. Setting fire to things, just to feel joy
D. Netflix and chill (but actually netflix, because you’re alone)
4. You have a job interview (congratz). They are ask you what your biggest weakness is. What do you say?
A. I get distracted easily
B. My biggest weakness is caring too much
C. I don't like menial tasks because I am destined for greatness
D. I procrastinate (aka I should have thought of a better answer to this question, but didn't have time)
5. Pick an fun quote from these pop-culture masterpieces
A. “Girls aren't very good at keeping maps in their brains", said Edmund,
"That's because we've got something in them", replied Lucy.” - the Chronicles of Narnia
B. “May the odds be ever in your favor.” - Hunger games
C. “That's what I do. I drink and I know things.” - Game of thrones
D. Loki:” I have an army!” Tony Stark:” We have a Hulk.”- Avengers
The Criminal Law exam is tomorrow. You begin searching through your wardrobe to locate your APS lanyard d (to wear to your tutorial just so you can smugly say, yes, you do have a job in law). However, mid search, you accidentally stumble through the wardrobe and straight into Narnia. You don't realise because the frosty air is just as cold.
Months later, when you finally become aware, it's too late! You’ve already picked a faction in the leadership war. You single handedly have sworn to overthrow the White Witch and become the ruler of Narnia. Too bad you never attended that law exam. Despite your achievements, your parents will never be proud of you.
You sit down in 7-11 Barry Drive . Students nervously chewing on their nails. You can’t work out why an exam room would have a clock that ticks that loudly. You stare down at the Administrative Law paper, completely at loss to what to write. Suddenly, the microphone crackles into action, “Primrose Everdeen.” Your sister has been chosen for the hunger games! You must leave at once. “I volunteer!” You gasp. “I volunteer as tribute!”
You run away in order to take Prim’s place. Some things are more important than exams. Sadly, since you left admin law half way in, you only scored a mark of 20/100. Maybe if you survive the games you can redo it next year.
It’s the Litigation take home. Your notes are colour coded and you have a fresh takeaway coffee next to you ready to go. You’re surrounded by snacks and scented candles. You begin the exam. Suddenly all the information you ever learnt is rushing through your head, you know everything. You are unstoppable. But then you start to remember too much. You suddenly understand what you read in the Citadel. Jon is the legitimate son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, that makes him Aegon Targaryen, the heir to the throne. Anger consumes you. That throne should be yours! You have worked for 8 seasons, had your hair styled by the most exclusive Dothraki, slept with your nephew; all for this.
So fueled with rage, you take your scented candles and set fire to the house, then the neighbourhood, and soon all of Canberra. “I will take what is mine with fire and blood” you chant over and over. Your exam paper has gone up in a cloud of smoke. And like the thinly veiled plot of Game of Thrones season 8, you too give up any pretense of caring.
Torts - more like tort-ure. You have never been more unprepared for a exam in your life. You are begging for a miracle. Someone to pull the fire alarm. A car to slightly graze you, just enough to go to hospital but not enough to be seriously hurt.
But no divine intervention occurs. You are sitting in the sports hall. Freezing your tits off. “You may now begin.” You stare down at the first question, no clue of the answer. Luckily, at that exact moment, Thanos snaps his fingers and you disappear into nothing. I don't feel so good Mr Law Professor. Your exam paper sits there, covered in little floating pieces of dust.