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Four ways to ensure you don’t ‘accidentally’ murder your partner in lockdown


2020 has been a testing year, and some of you may have made it even harder by deciding it was the perfect time to move in with your significant other/s. Whilst this may have seemed like a good idea at the time, you probably hadn’t predicted that a government-sanctioned lockdown would trap you and your partner in the house for what feels like forever. For example, I moved in with my partner this year. I did not foresee that I would have to spend all of my time in a 20 square foot studio with him. Whilst we did not break up (yay!), it was not exactly a walk in the park.

Here are my top-4 tricks not to murder your partner/s:

1. Write up a lockdown contract detailing who spends time in which corner of your home

I’m kidding, (although I got extremely close to drafting one). Instead, having an open and frank discussion concerning our schedules and plans for the day was what kept me sane. I was working from home during this time, so we would designate a corner of our small apartment to one another and made sure we didn’t get in each other’s way. Having things to do without each other meant that we didn’t overload on ‘couple time’. As such, we never actually got sick of each other, and appreciated each other’s company when the times got tough.

2. Invest in headphones (for your partner/s)

There was many a time when I wanted to destroy my partner’s Spotify playlist. There’s only so much Alt-J one person can take. Instead of acting on my technologically violent thoughts, I decided to be the bigger person and get him a pair of headphones instead. He was able to listen to all the indie trash he wanted to, while I got to remain blissfully unaware of how bland my partner’s taste in music could get. Further, I got to listen to my lectures without wearing pesky headphones and he couldn’t hear them.

3. Try to line up your sleep schedules

There’s nothing worse than becoming nocturnal and then one day waking up to the sun in your face because your partner has decided that ‘it’s bad for you’ or that ‘you need to fix your sleep schedule’. As I hissed at the sun and at my partner, I decided there’s only one solution—he needs to become nocturnal with me. I tempt him with more Netflix and ungodly bedtimes until he stoops to my alternative sleep schedule. In reality, I totally could have fixed my sleep schedule, especially because I was working 9-5 on some days. The main thing is to talk to your partner and agree on what works best for the relationship.

4. Don’t eat the last cookie in the packet

Don’t do it. No matter how tempting, do not eat the last treat. Even if there are no other snacks in your home, and this is final one, DO NOT DO IT! I assure you that your partner was also totally saving it for themselves. If they find out later that you ate it, you’re in trouble.

So, get ahead of the game.

Be kind to your partner, offer them the last cookie. Granted, this tip is oddly specific, but I’m sure you could replace cookie with whatever food your partner/s like. Treating each other with kindness is one of the ways to get through these hard times.

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